I must be too annoying 4 u.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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