...so i touched it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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