people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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