Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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