like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
