I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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