If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
