hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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