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The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
