goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
