It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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