Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
