I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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