my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
