I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my being single is dangerous.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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