How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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