Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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