apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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