Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
