after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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