You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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