WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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