Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
