a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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