He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
