Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least đ
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberryâs and told him to âWWE raw dog me.â Fucking kill me.
we should paint friendship bongs
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didnât know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
