We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm at about main and main street
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
