Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
