Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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