The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize