i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
nutella sex= disaster
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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