the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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