I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
