When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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