I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
