i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish you could order shots online.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
