lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
