i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
