Nicole vs. Life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
