I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
