I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
