My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
