So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
