He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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