in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
