I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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