I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
