They should really pass out barf bags in church
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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