i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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