i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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