we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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